I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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