So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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