Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
