it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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