Christians are straight up FREAKS
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
