i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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