i wish starbucks made bloody marys
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
