considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
