dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
