Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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