Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
