I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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