Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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