i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
