I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
