i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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