So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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