So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
