He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
