if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Jerry, you need to find god
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
