I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
