idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
