from now on my penis is your penis
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize