I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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