Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
P.S. I can't hear my feet
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
