Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize