I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
