so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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