I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
