aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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