if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
