I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
