i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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