Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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