My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
