It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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