I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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