Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
