I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
