Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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