Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
You're earring is so big in my mouth
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
