I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
