Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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