sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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