I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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