i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I got inside last night via doggy door
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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