There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
