i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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