I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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