I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
