the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
