Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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