my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
