I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
