You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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