So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
