She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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