That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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