I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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