he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
