YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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