If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
