You really coming over, don't trick.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
