I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
