I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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