I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
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