I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
