Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
