nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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