So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
