Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize