Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize