just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
