Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
