pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize