He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Randomize
