I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
My vagina just recognized that song.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
